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Miriam (banat) jokes

Sen. Miriam Defensor Santiago recently graced the UP Cebu graduation as its guest
speaker. Widely anticipated were her jokes:

Use Obama in a sentence.

Answer: If I’m all alone, I’m Obama-self. Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago is the guest speaker at UP Cebu's graduation rites.

If you want to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend after graduation, Sen. Santiago gave these witty lines:

Password ka ba?

Bakit?

Hindi kasi kita kayang kalimutan pero kaya kitang palitan.

If that is not enough to convince your partner, the Miriam says:

Bachelor’s degree ka ba?

Bakit?

Kasi tapos na ako sa iyo.

Finally, a harsher one:

Summer ka ba?

Bakit?

Kasi wala kang class.

Keeping up with The Legal Wife theme:

I have one husband.

And as far as I can tell he seems to be morally disciplined. At least when I’m around.

Corruption and politics were also the theme of her jokes:

“Sa tindi ng traffic sa Manila, asahan mo masasagupa mo mga driver na mga may road rage, drug addicts, sex addicts. May isa rin sa Senado.”

“Nagkaroon ng pagkakataon ng tig-isang tanong kay God ang mga Presidente ng China, USA at Pilipinas,

Nauna ang China

CHINA: God kailan mawawala sa bansa ko ang corruption at kahirapan?
GOD: 300 years anak.
CHINA: Umiyak ang presidente ng China. Naku patay nako niyan.

Sumunod nagtanong ang USA

USA: God kailan mawawala sa bansa ko ang corruption at kahirapan?
GOD: 500 years anak.
USA: umiyak ang presidente ng USA, patay nako bago mangyari yan

Sumunod nagtanong ang presidente ng Pilipinas.

PILIPINAS: God kailan po mawawala sa bansa ko ang corruption at kahirapan?

Umiyak si God.

GOD: PATAY TAYO D’YAN”

She also dished out a classic Juan Tamad joke:

Teacher asks students: Ano gusto mo paglaki mo?
Pedro: Gusto ko tulong kapwa.
Jose: Gusto ko doktor para tulong kapwa.
Kiko: Gusto ko mayor para tulong kapwa.
Maria: Gusto lingkod kapwa.
Juan Tamad: Gusto ko maging KAPWA.

Here is the full video of Sen. Miriam Defensor-Santiago’s speech by ACT-UP Cebu:

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